ETHICALLY FARMED

The origin of this concept all started when I asked Spencer to make me a dildo full of dead bees.

I thought it would be cool for a giveaway, or for a novelty shelf item. I was just building up my fan base and starting to realize the kind of art that I wanted to create. Seeing as she runs an adult toy shop (@thecottagecorewhore_ on Instagram) and that she’s a artist who thinks out-of-the-box more than not, I knew she’d be down for it.

The bees were sold on Etsy, and were ethically farmed — I didn’t personally lure a colony of bees to their demise just to wrap them in silicone and shove them in my pussy. After that project, we had a shit ton left over, and started brainstorming some ideas. A few weeks later, I was in her apartment in Jacksonville, Florida, sitting still while she applied dead bees to my body with tweezers.

THE IDEA:

Playing off of my nickname, Bee, I wanted to feed off of the idea of being the ‘queen bee’ (promise it isn’t an ego trip hahaha). Surround me in flowers and honey, add some dead bees, call it a day. Though the vision was pretty simple, and the set not too complex, it was still a struggle to decide how the story would be told. What kind of poses work while trying not to crush tiny bee carcasses to my chest?

THE OUTFIT:

Although I’m traditionally not a fan of shooting with black clothes, I opted for the dark shade to create a very cool, even contrast between myself and the set. Black is a great color, but doesn’t leave a lot of room for color manipulation in post. A fuller bottom maintained a level of modesty, taking away the traditional ‘sexiness’ that’s associated with lingerie.

THE SHOT:

Though these shots were beautiful, they were actually super uncomfortable to take while shooting. The honey on my face had slowly dripped it’s way into the deepest part of my nose while I was doing floor poses — and that shit burned. When it was time to take the bees off of me, their little wings and legs were stuck in the honey and were left on my body, sans the bees, and I was forced to wash them down the drain with the layers and layers of honey I had poured on myself.

I shot this set with a hangover, while partially stoned, and having not eaten breakfast hours before. I was hungry, tired, and couldn’t fucking breathe because I had the world’s thickest, pollen-full honey up my right nostril. The first shots we got were cute, but my favorites ended up being the standing poses at the end. I had actually already washed off all of the honey and bees, but when I flipped through the photos in-camera, I felt like we were still missing a few identity-free shots (something I always like to chase in my work). That’s when the glorious idea to add the bees + honey to my butt was born, and those super cute shots were taken.

This shoot holds a special place in my heart, because it was the start of so many journeys in my life. I was finally snowballing into shooting more in my “style”, which I really appreciated. The itch to make super sexy, sultry poses was just starting to switch out for weirder shapes and more complex set design. I was learning about myself in ways I didn’t realize were going to be so important in the long run! So I really like to look back at these shots. Sure, I see where now I could have improved my work, shifted a certain way, offered to try a different position.. but the nostalgia that the imperfections bring is just as satisfying :)